Episodes
Saturday Aug 01, 2020
Saturday Aug 01, 2020
Jake:
Charlie: Whoa... Jake usually writes these semi-coherent ramblings, most of which don't really even make sense until after you've already listened to the episode, but it looks like he missed this one so I'm coming in at the last minute to throw something together. Unless, Jake, you want to take over?
Jake:
Charlie: Okay, well, Bowie released a deuce of sweet VHS tapes covering his 1987 Glass Spider tour that were later released on DVD. And he was involved in modern dance. What about Dylan?
Jake:
Charlie: Yeah, so I don't remember much about Dylan on this one... I think he did some pretty crappy stuff? Like a bad album probably? But then he also did The Traveling Wilburys, who were pretty ace so it balances out. I think we talked about making a Traveling Wilburys childrens' book series. It's a humorous portion of the podcast. Jake, any other thoughts?
Jake:
Charlie: You heard it here, folks. Listen in to a podcast that does actually feature both normal hosts, we swear, on the 1988 edition of Bowie Vs. Dylan.
Friday May 15, 2020
Friday May 15, 2020
Welcome to the 40th Annual Retrospective Spectacular of the 22nd Annual Grammy Awards !!! Here's your host, Kenny Rogers:
Kenny Rogers: Honestly, looking back, what a cluster this was. Why are we having another retrospective of the 1980 Grammy Awards? I think at this point you just gotta know when to fold em'.
Bob Dylan: Heeeey, what did I win? I mean, what did Jesus win?
Grammy Award for Best Rock Vocal Performance, Male: Me! You won me! Or am I Best Rock Performance, Solo, or was it Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance, or...WHO THE HECK AM I, anyway, this is a heckuva time to have an identity crisis, this was supposed to be my night!
Best Disco Recording: Me, I can't WAIT to be back next year, and the year after that, and until the end of time or recorded music, whichever comes first. What a time to be alive and to always be a part of the Grammy's forever!
David Bowie: Erm...did I win anything?
Jake and Charlie: This podcast episode, Bowie. You handily won this episode, on this 1980 edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.
Saturday Feb 01, 2020
Ep46: 1982 - Baal vs. Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! or the Bing Frosbying of 1982
Saturday Feb 01, 2020
Saturday Feb 01, 2020
Setting: A lavish grand room with a fire burning, but not fro hot as to melt the rich mafrogany.
Oddly Fromal Pale White Crooner #1: Froh helfro. There's been a knock on my froor.
Oddly Fromal Pale White Crooner #2: Haha!
Oddly Fromal Pale White Crooner #1: Do you happen to be the butler? The milkman? Frogurt saleswoman? The rubbish collector? Packet delivery gentleman? The maid? My wife? The fire froker? Saint Nifrolas?
Oddly Fromal Pale White Crooner #2: Haha! That's high fromedy. Or wait, you truly fron't frow? I'm...(whispers) David Frowie.
Oddly Fromal Pale White Crooner #1: HaHAAAAAA. Ha! I frow, friend. I thought you knew this was a...(whispers) TV frow. I'm Bing Frosby, but you fron't see me froing on about it.
Disheveled Yacht Froat Denizen: (bursting in to wild applause) Heeeeeeey. What do you frow, fros? Catchphrase, catchphrose...catchfrose!!!
Oddly Fromal Pale White Crooner #1 and #2: Froh, you! It's Frob Dylan, and he's on a froat!
Oddly Fromal Pale White Crooner #1 and #2, and Disheveled Yacht Froat Denizen: (in wildly unsuccessful 3-part counter-harmony): On this edition of Frowie vs. Dylan!
Sunday Dec 15, 2019
Ep43: 1984 - Tonight vs. Real Live! or the Jazzin’ Our Blue Jeans of 1984
Sunday Dec 15, 2019
Sunday Dec 15, 2019
Jake: Well, time to record a new podcast for all of our fans, focusing exclusively on David Bowie and Bob Dylan in the year 1984.
Chaz: I guess? We did just make a whole boatload of money doing nothing but singing last episode while Niles Rodgers did literally everything but sing. Should we run it back and keep doing nothing and stack some cash stacks?
Jake: Now you're talking! And I've got just the guy to help us out. Get this, his name is Mick.
Chaz: Ronson?
Jake: We wish.
Chaz: Rock?
Jake: Not quite.
Chaz: Woodsmonsonson?
Jake: You mean Mick? But no.
Chaz: Jagger?
Jake: Anything but that.
Chaz: I'm stumped. Even though there's 7,280 Micks left to guess from British rock bands of the 60's and 70's.
Jake: Taylor, it's Mick Taylor! From the Rolling Stones? Here, let me tell his-
Mick Taylor: (interrupting with a tasty but inappropriately ripping guitar solo, on this 1984 edition of Bowie vs. Dylan)
Sunday Sep 15, 2019
Sunday Sep 15, 2019
Sad Middle Aged Man #1: Calling out around the world!
Sad Middle Aged Man #3: Are you ready to suck at Live Aid?!
Sad Middle Aged Man #2: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah BLAH BLAH!
All Sad Middle Aged Men: For dancing in the street!!
Sad Middle Aged Man #1: They’re dancing in LONDON!
Backup Sad Middle Aged Mens #2 and #3: Sucking at Live Aid…
Sad Middle Aged Man #2: They’re dancing in PHILLY!
Backup Sad Middle Aged Mens #1 and #3: Sucking at Live Aid…
Sad Middle Aged Men #3: They’re dancing in wherever the hell I am, I can’t really tell, Ronnie Wood is here? New York, maybe, does Keith Richards know where we are, whoa, he doesn’t know where anybody is, I think I’d bet-
All Sad Middle Aged Men everywhere: All we hear is music! Sweet music! There’ll be music EVERYWHERE, on this edition of Bowie vs. Dylan!
Friday Mar 15, 2019
Friday Mar 15, 2019
If you've ever felt ironically let down by Never Let Me Down, or have felt the very fire extinguished from your chest by Hearts of Fire, or have wondered just how low David Bowie could sink, reputationally but more importantly point-wise in the year 1987, and whether Dylan could actually be worse in that year (good thing he didn't put out an album, or it might have been close), or what a glass spider might look like, or how long Dylan's earrings extend down his shoulders, but also have longed to know what various members of Charlie and Jake's nuclear and extended family sound like in small snippets talking about music that no one should be subjected to whilst various babies and other small children prattle on in the Christmas-inspired backdrop of suburban Minnesota, then BOY DO WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU.
It's part 1 of the self-described-in-a-later-episode "Diamond Jubilee", that's really just Fool's Gold or Tarnished Tin, in this very special episode of Bowie vs. Dylan.
Friday Feb 15, 2019
Friday Feb 15, 2019
Quick multiple choice question for you all: Which wildly non-sequiturous tangent do Chaz and Jake NOT go on at some point in this podcast which purports to report on the comings and goings of David Bowie and Bob Dylan in the year of all years 1981?
a. Two words: Robert Van Winkle, y'all.
b. The artistic merits of the 4th Batman movie, or was it the 3rd? The truly sucky one, not the one that just mostly sucks, you know, with Bat Crotches and stuff.
c. Copyright infringement law as explained to middle-schoolers.
d. Whether Dylan fell off and/or boarded his 80's Caribbean yacht and/or schooner.
e. Whether Bowie used makeup to play the Elephant Man or if his face just looked that way.
f. Whether Charlie should seek medical attention for his smell or if he's just as God made him.
Just remember as you attempt to answer correctly and thereby win this game and thereby the door prize which consists of a number of free podcasts: you must answer in the form of an answer; there's actually more than one made-up choice; some are false based on the question but only because they're technically not non-sequiturs, but only because they technically have something do with anything; and there's no right answer and everyone's a loser on this not-as-bad-as-you-think-early-80's edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
Dylan Raps!
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
You know what we here at Bowie vs. Dylan enjoy doing? Besides semi-accurately depicting the musical goings-on of David Bowie and/or Bob Dylan in any given year? We here at Bowie vs. Dylan enjoy MAKING HISTORY.
And that's just what we've done by transcribing Dylan's first and last rap lyrics to the internet for the first time ever. For some reason, nobody in all of recorded history has bothered to put these seminal utterances on any so-called lyrics sites, and for some reason, I was (and am) surprised.
That's right, you too can revel in the mush-mouthed glory of Bob Dylan "rapping" over Kurtis Blow's 1986 song, "Street Rock", painstakingly put from Dylan's mouth to Jake's hand by 75-1000 repeated listenings. It is a darn fine relief that it's only 10 seconds long. But what a 10 seconds! See for yourself (or selves if more than 1 person actually clicks on this link).
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
Ep16: 1986 - Labyrinth vs. Knocked Out Loaded or The 86’d 1986 of 1986
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
Thursday Nov 01, 2018
All aboard the Too-Little-Too-Later-Nadir-O-Rater! The year in question is 1986, and the only question seems to be just how low the boys can sink. But also just how long the official tour name ends up. Because presenting one podcast, tonight only, it's live in concert, banging those gated machine gun drums, as well as various shiny synths, it's: Charlie and Jake and David Bowie and Bob Dylan and Tom Petty and Dave Stewart and Iggy Pop and Tina Turner and Some Muppets and Los Lobos and Michael Mann and Annie Lennox and Mick Jagger and The Heartbreakers AND the Queens of Rhythm! Or CJDBBDTPDSIPTTSMLLMMALMJTHQR for short, boy that really rolls off the tongue, iconic tour name. There are a full THREE Years in Hair to comb through (get it?), but it's hell time, man, and if I keep on going this way, it'll just sound like Blah, Blah, Blah.
After you're done 86'ing your boredom with this podcast, assault your poor ears with our 1986 Spotify playlist at bit.ly/BvD-EP16!
Saturday Oct 13, 2018
Unboxing the Alien
Saturday Oct 13, 2018
Saturday Oct 13, 2018
I'm Charlie and I like Bowie.
In fact, I like Bowie so much that my son and I made an unboxing video about the big, fat, 80s-centric Loving the Alien boxset that just came out. You can thank me later.
Read the rest of this entry »Monday Jul 23, 2018
Loving the Alien: How Wrong Charlie Was
Monday Jul 23, 2018
Monday Jul 23, 2018
I'm Charlie and I like David Bowie.
A few weeks ago, I made some low energy predictions about what would show up in the next Bowie box set, these type of predictions becoming something of a cottage industry amongst Bowie fans on message boards across this great web. Then, last week, they actually announced it for real. So, what's in it? And why does it matter? And most importantly, how did I do?
Monday Jun 18, 2018
Dancing with the Big Boys: One Fan's Idle Speculations
Monday Jun 18, 2018
Monday Jun 18, 2018
I’m Charlie and I like Bowie.
For the last three consecutive years, Parlophone has released a big fat archival Bowie box set in September. The sets have been announced in late June or July. This leads a large number of Bowie fans at this time of year to make ill-informed, hastily constructed speculations as to what the next set will contain. Who am I to do any different?
Read the rest of this entry »