BOWIE VS. DYLAN
Ep33: 2009 - VH1 Storytellers vs. Together Through Life and Christmas in the Heart or OH MY GOLLY IT MUST BE SANTA!!! of 2009

Ep33: 2009 - VH1 Storytellers vs. Together Through Life and Christmas in the Heart or OH MY GOLLY IT MUST BE SANTA!!! of 2009

July 15, 2019

We here at Bowie vs. Dylan bet you thought you could just skip past the storytelling parts of this special VH1 Storytellers podcast and get to, like, the music, man.  Well, too bad for you, because VH1 Records (still a thing, sure) demanded that we list all of the tracks on this episode as containing both the story AND the telling, but also whatever song comes after.  Lot of story, a lot of telling, precious little music is how they roll.  Also, podcasts don't have much music in them, man.   Podcasts are by their very nature a spoken word medium, because of the 1st amendment.  Ever heard of it?  And, music is extremely challenging to license for podcasts, especially ones with 40 listeners who are just dying to get shouted out on air for sending us emails at bowievsdylan@gmail.com.  Finally, its expensive, dang, we here at Bowie vs. Dylan tried to call Bowie's and Dylan's management about using just a little taste of that sweet non-spoken word manna from heaven they call music, but-

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAA!

Just arrived in our hearts, got to go, enjoy this Christmas in July episode of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Bowie in the Year 2019: Releases So Far

Bowie in the Year 2019: Releases So Far

July 5, 2019

So here we are, half way through the Year of Our Lord 2019. It's been a stupidly prolific year for our man Bowie and it seems like a good time to take a look at what the Bowie kingdom has been tossing out so far to an unprepared and largely unappreciative world. And hey, we'll also take a peek at what's to come for the second half. Why not?

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Ep32: 1966 - 4 Forgettable Mod Singles vs. Oh I Don’t Know, BLONDE ON BLONDE or the Blonde on Blondeing of 1966

Ep32: 1966 - 4 Forgettable Mod Singles vs. Oh I Don’t Know, BLONDE ON BLONDE or the Blonde on Blondeing of 1966

July 1, 2019

Setting: Newly minted Bowie tries to achieve early Bowie in England, while Bob Dylan is at the height of his Dylan-ness, also in England for part of the year, getting "Judas!!!" yelled at him by wankers.

Bowie answers an advert in the paper, whereby he pays good pounds to climb into a tiny door presented to him by a very young John Cusack.  He inexplicably transforms into Bob Dylan's body and mind for 15 minutes, and then is deposited on the side of a freeway in New Castle.  Whilst embodying Dylan, Bowie goes to dinner where everyone, including him, looks like the majestically frizzy Dylan of 1966.

Dylan #1: Blonde on Blonde?

Dylan #2: Blonde on Blonde.

Dylan #3: Blonde on Blonde? Blonde on Blonde? Blonde on Blonde!

Dylan #4: Blonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on Blonde.

All Dylans: Blonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on BlondeBlonde on Blonde.

Bowie (once deposited on the freeway): It will be mine...Oh yes, it will be mine.  In 1972, or thereabouts.

You Belong in Rock & Roll: One Fan’s Idle Speculation

You Belong in Rock & Roll: One Fan’s Idle Speculation

June 27, 2019

Sometimes a healthy, good-natured fandom veers off-course into the deep, dark waters of self-destructive obsession. Now is one of those times. Read along as Charlie gets out of control with a penetrating speculation into what, exactly, might be in the next big, fat David Bowie box set, which will likely be announced sometime in the next month.

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Ep31: 2015 - Lazarus vs. Shadows in the Night, or the Near-Death Crooning of 2015

Ep31: 2015 - Lazarus vs. Shadows in the Night, or the Near-Death Crooning of 2015

June 15, 2019

Setting: Two men age-group 18-49, with so many more important things to do, nonetheless talking to each other and roughly 41 other souls about David Bowie and/or Bob Dylan.  Their respective rooms are dark; their tone slight, but uniformly pensive.

Man #1: Bob Dylan's single from the year two thousand and fifteen is as follows: The-

Man #2: (interrupting jovially): Are we talking about David Bowie's history of musicals right now?

Man #1: The Night-

Man #2: (interrupting haphazardly): Because it's a rich, rich...rich historical text.

Man #1: The Night We-

Man #2 (interrupting wildly): Why, in 1968, of all year, Bowie was thinking of thinking of maybe writing and producing one.

Man #1: The Night We Called-

Man #2: (interrupting rather rudely): It's about a man with a very ordinary name who's ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY, you see.

Man #1: The Night We Called It-

Man #2: (interrupting as if it's now a joke that only he can truly appreciate): Ever heard of Ziggy Stardust, friend?

Man #1: The Night We Called It A-

Man #2: (interrupting just a little too righteously): Now picture it...as a musical.

Man #1: The Night We Called It A Day.  The Night We Called It A Day.  The Night We Called It A Day.  The Night We Called It A Day.  The Night We Called It A Day.  The Night We Called It A Day!!!

Man #2: (interrupting solemnly and self-importantly): Why are you yelling?! Stop yelling at me.  I was just thinking about how 2015 was Bowie's last year on the planet and he managed to produce some of his finest work.  This seems important, and it's a little disrespectful for you to continue interrupting me while I try to communicate the sheer magni-

Man #1 and Man #2: (in unison): On this edition of Bowie vs. Dylan!

Ep30: Bowie vs. Dylan, or The Top 10 Rivalries of THEIR ENTIRE CAREERS

Ep30: Bowie vs. Dylan, or The Top 10 Rivalries of THEIR ENTIRE CAREERS

June 1, 2019

Dear Listeners-

We here at Bowie vs. Dylan know that it's generally uncouth to share such an emotional outpouring, especially since we haven't had anything to drink this morning (yet), but hey, what the heck?  The internet is such a rotten place sometimes, and we'd like to change that in whatever small way that we can actually control, so here goes:

WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOU.

So much so, in fact, that we'd like to ask your forgiveness in advance for the 1 hour and 45 minutes that you're about to be subjected to of pure podcast petulance.  Because although David Bowie and Bob Dylan were and are generally congenial fellows with many friends, acquaintances, and collaborators (see Episode 10 of this podcast), they also each had their share of frenemies, enemies, and rivalries, all of which are covered in exhaustive and exhausting detail, by real-life brothers (and #1 For Realz Rivalz For Life) Chaz and Jake.  Warning: It's a petty, salacious, violent, uncaring, contentious, and downright mean episode, just like Chaz and Jake's realz-life relationship, on this episode of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Ep29: 1996 - Nothing!  Absolutely Nothing! vs. Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! or the MasterCard Masters Soul Patch for the Prince of 1996

Ep29: 1996 - Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! vs. Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! or the MasterCard Masters Soul Patch for the Prince of 1996

May 15, 2019

Chaz and Jake sift through the mild emotional wreckage that was the year 1996 for tasty goss on their muses both dead and alive.  Spoiler alert: there's not much to say, except that the brothers somehow spew an unhealthy 75 minutes of morning drive-time jock-talk with what amounts to practically nothing.  We leave it to you, dear listeners, to decide if that's any different at all than their other podcasts.  

Here's Bowie's year: He's at least lookin good, I guess?

Let me just check my notes on Dylan one more time, there's got to be something here...wait, how did we miss this?!  Says here that a handsome man with the surname Dylan fronted an inexplicably popular alternative rock band with several top ten hits with an album that sold 4 million copies and won a bunch of Grammy's!  Bob Dylan was in a band called the Wallflowers?! That wasn't in my narrative at all!  You'd think I'd have caught it, but boy, does this change everything, we're gonna have to go back and re-do the points, Chaz is NOT going to be pleased at this development.  Another win for Dylan, baby, on this award-winning (our own awards, sure, but still sanctioned in 2 states) edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Ep28: 1970 - The Man Who Sold the World vs. Self-Portrait and New Morning or the Too Thick to Pick of 1970

Ep28: 1970 - The Man Who Sold the World vs. Self-Portrait and New Morning or the Too Thick to Pick of 1970

May 1, 2019

Charlie and Jake beckon you to join them in their 1970-era drug and sex-fueled arts commune that's really just a dilapidated house with some stairs that you can sleep on/under.  Why, you ask? Well, we want you to express yourself, of course, through mimery and "joke" albums that debut at #4 on the Billboard charts.  We want you to try your novelty singles in Italian, and to put out a "real" album 4 months later only to see it debut at #7.  We'd really think it was neat if you released some HEAVY music, man, but also to sing of the simple pleasures the country life can bring after you move back to NYC to be accosted by jackasses with megaphones.  All of this is encouraged in our awful condemnable house!

But really, it's all about us making a space spiritually and physically fit for you to bring a child into the world in it.  Seriously, have a baby and try and raise it through infancy in the house.  It'll be a good idea!  He or she can sleep under Stair #8, it's surprisingly roomy.  

I hate to do this to you now that you've agreed to stay on as a valued member of our lovely little clan, but it's just, you know, I have to ask...does the baby have some rent money to contribute?  Disgusting arts communes don't run themselves, you know, on this edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

 

Ep27: 2012 - Nothing!  Absolutely Nothing! vs. Tempest or The Last Original Gameshow of 2012

Ep27: 2012 - Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! vs. Tempest or The Last Original Gameshow of 2012

April 15, 2019

Grizzled musical veterans Chaz and Jake return to relevance discussing Bowie and/or Dylan (fresh off their BvD Awards for Worst Years Ever) in the "monumental" year of 2012.  Bowie does almost nothing besides play "Heroes" a couple times each for every single world event, but nevertheless transfigures his manic energy to Charlie, who can't stop interrupting and saying all the things that Jake was about to say before he says them.  Dylan tries to terrify Jake with the possibility that he's already released the comeback old man mortality record that was promised, but Jake is too busy trying to figure out how to be juuuuust the right amount of interested in Dylan's career to be the kind of fan whom Dylan doesn't want to go straight to f***ing hell.

So go ahead and feed this entire podcast into Google Translate (say, Egyptian?), then feed it back through to English to enjoy an experience that might just make more sense than the actual thing on this edition of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Unboxing Baby Bowie

Unboxing Baby Bowie

April 5, 2019

Hey! Some early Bowie demos came out today and for some reason they were released as a quadruple 7" vinyl box set! But the box set looks pretty swanky and the music is rather fascinating. So watch your pal, Charlie, unbox it for you after the jump. And if you're feeling really saucy and decide to buy the bugger, use our Amazon affiliate link and support the show: https://amzn.to/2YGVASp.

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Ep26: 1990 - Rykodisc Reissues vs Under the Red Sky or the Worst of the Worst of Dylan’s Worst?

Ep26: 1990 - Rykodisc Reissues vs Under the Red Sky or the Worst of the Worst of Dylan’s Worst?

April 1, 2019

Hey there.  Are you through with Tin Machine for a year?  Are you distracted from writing decent songs by your exhausting but highly fortuitous involvement in a better-than-decent supergroup?  Did you remix one of your songs so many times that the remixes turned back into the original song somehow?  Did you fire G.E. Smith for no good reason?  Do you need some good old-fashioned cash stacks and the only way you can think to stack cash is to "retire" your classic material on a massive tour?  Did Don and Jon and Bon and Juan Wan hire Slash to provide some disappointing licks for your disappointing album?  You mean you haven't had enough of Jake and Charlie's nuclear and extended family blabbering on about maybe the subject we asked them about?

THEN BOY DO WE HAVE ANOTHER TREAT FOR YOU.

Because it's Dylan's turn to steer the Nadir-O-Rater into the yawning abyss of 1990.  Hang on tight, because it's a mildly boring ride ripe with self-parody on this VERY special Part 2-ish Diamond Jubilee/Tarnished Tin episode of Bowie vs. Dylan.

Ep25: 1987 - Never Let Me Down vs. Hearts of Fire or The Worst of the Worst of Bowie’s Worst

Ep25: 1987 - Never Let Me Down vs. Hearts of Fire or The Worst of the Worst of Bowie’s Worst

March 15, 2019

If you've ever felt ironically let down by Never Let Me Down, or have felt the very fire extinguished from your chest by Hearts of Fire, or have wondered just how low David Bowie could sink, reputationally but more importantly point-wise in the year 1987, and whether Dylan could actually be worse in that year (good thing he didn't put out an album, or it might have been close), or what a glass spider might look like, or how long Dylan's earrings extend down his shoulders, but also have longed to know what various members of Charlie and Jake's nuclear and extended family sound like in small snippets talking about music that no one should be subjected to whilst various babies and other small children prattle on in the Christmas-inspired backdrop of suburban Minnesota, then BOY DO WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU.

It's part 1 of the self-described-in-a-later-episode "Diamond Jubilee", that's really just Fool's Gold or Tarnished Tin, in this very special episode of Bowie vs. Dylan.